I totally forgot I even had this. I remember the days whenever I had something to say I'd just write it away on this thing. Well today I had a lot on my mind and couldn't think of a place to put it. Luckily i remembered this site and decided to write this.
Recently i figured out a lot about who i was, who i am, and how i felt. I attempted to tell someone the way i felt, but i think it only caused more problems then solutions. I felt bad for saying anything mainly because this person was already going through a very hard time and she was also already having her own relationship issues, but i was selfish and wanted it off my chest and out in the open.
Sorry.
Wat was worse was that b4 even a day had passed i decided to try and get some answers and i heard wat i knew i would but was hoping i wouldn't... I always believed that a person's heart cant break if u never love and to never love is to not believe that it exists. Well sadly after years of keeping that kind of barrier up i learned wat it means to love and be heartbroken, but im not upset that i kno. Im glad, it was another life experience, and although im hurting now im sure that in time i will get up and move on. Time heals all wounds after all.
Thank you for showing me that its not wrong to hope, love, and wish.
But wat offset me the most beyond just the heartbreak was that you told me things were different. That we cant always get things back the way they were. I know we grew apart and i know that it annoyed u that i tried so hard to talk and bring our relationship back to at least the friendship we had b4 but was it so wrong to try? If i didnt would u have? u told me it was 50/50 but it seemed like u didn't even want to give me that much.
U say maybe it's because we changed and that from the choices we made we have become new people. I believe that's true. but wat if we changed for the worse? if we cant even be friends anymore than i cant believe that we've changed for the better.
I think deep down u remember and miss it just as much as i do. And this is not me wanting the past back. No im not naive enough to think that i can take back wat was done. All i really wanted was for u to remember that u didn't used to be this way. U used to smile more, u used to be happier, u used to laugh more, and mostly... u used to be around more.
Im not saying go back to the way u were, im saying that if u changed into this, then u can change into someone better, because i kno deep down u kno ur not content, and u kno u can change that by becoming someone u want to be. And i can only hope that I'll be in ur life if u do decide to change for the better.
I guess i just wanted u to remember, so that maybe u could see that u dont have to be this way and that u can always be better than wat u are now. And also that, deep down, so deep that u prolly cant even feel it. U remember and miss our bond. All of our bonds.
Even if you don't share my feelings for u, even if u never do. That will never be as bad as the way u told me that we might not be as close.
But if in the end, we do go our separate ways. Know that I'll never forget. And perhaps, we'll be friends in another life.
Your Friend,
Sonny Maeng
Recently i figured out a lot about who i was, who i am, and how i felt. I attempted to tell someone the way i felt, but i think it only caused more problems then solutions. I felt bad for saying anything mainly because this person was already going through a very hard time and she was also already having her own relationship issues, but i was selfish and wanted it off my chest and out in the open.
Sorry.
Wat was worse was that b4 even a day had passed i decided to try and get some answers and i heard wat i knew i would but was hoping i wouldn't... I always believed that a person's heart cant break if u never love and to never love is to not believe that it exists. Well sadly after years of keeping that kind of barrier up i learned wat it means to love and be heartbroken, but im not upset that i kno. Im glad, it was another life experience, and although im hurting now im sure that in time i will get up and move on. Time heals all wounds after all.
Thank you for showing me that its not wrong to hope, love, and wish.
But wat offset me the most beyond just the heartbreak was that you told me things were different. That we cant always get things back the way they were. I know we grew apart and i know that it annoyed u that i tried so hard to talk and bring our relationship back to at least the friendship we had b4 but was it so wrong to try? If i didnt would u have? u told me it was 50/50 but it seemed like u didn't even want to give me that much.
U say maybe it's because we changed and that from the choices we made we have become new people. I believe that's true. but wat if we changed for the worse? if we cant even be friends anymore than i cant believe that we've changed for the better.
I think deep down u remember and miss it just as much as i do. And this is not me wanting the past back. No im not naive enough to think that i can take back wat was done. All i really wanted was for u to remember that u didn't used to be this way. U used to smile more, u used to be happier, u used to laugh more, and mostly... u used to be around more.
Im not saying go back to the way u were, im saying that if u changed into this, then u can change into someone better, because i kno deep down u kno ur not content, and u kno u can change that by becoming someone u want to be. And i can only hope that I'll be in ur life if u do decide to change for the better.
I guess i just wanted u to remember, so that maybe u could see that u dont have to be this way and that u can always be better than wat u are now. And also that, deep down, so deep that u prolly cant even feel it. U remember and miss our bond. All of our bonds.
Even if you don't share my feelings for u, even if u never do. That will never be as bad as the way u told me that we might not be as close.
But if in the end, we do go our separate ways. Know that I'll never forget. And perhaps, we'll be friends in another life.
Your Friend,
Sonny Maeng
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