Oh wow how to describe this ever so dreadful topic. Well i kno all of u are with me when i say taht i hate school and school life hahaa. But i think im in quite a situation. I kno everyone knows how i feels to be surrounded by people at school but feel completely alone along with having little to no real friends there. My story tho is a lttle different. So u guys kno about that girl i helped out who was being harrassed in i think my last blog? well i talked it out with her and she forgave me even kno techniquely i didnt do anything rong. Well right after that she decided to become good buddies with the very people that were jerks and harrassing her. wow. anyway ya so she goes and become their friend. and becuase i stood up for her they all hated me now. well the "leader" of that pack i guess hates me and ignores/ourcasts me making the rest follow like little scared dogs. Well she called me up the other day asking me y i dont talk or hangout with them anymore and that it seemed like i was so close with them and i just let it go. I told her why but she told me that i should give them a chance because they are nice people and that i should try to be friends with them again becuase i never know if they can actually listen to how i think and feel without insulting or making fun of me. She then continued to lecture me on how i am so bitter. yes bitter. apparently my prejudice and hate for the immature and annoying insensitve people school made me a emo bitter guy. and i should get over it. She told me "i kno your internet friends are great but wat is it about them that makes u hate people here so much?" well i didnt answer that but the truth is that you guys are just better than them. You guys listen, care, and are mature, but immature when its time to just joke around and have fun. you guys are just u and know when to be serious. they dont. She asked me how i could possibly know that i told her i've known them long enough and tried it once b4. and she told me that maybe i should try again and seriously sit them down and talk to them. It was like she didnt hear a single word i was saying. that annoyed me. she then goes on and says one line that just pissed me off "if you really were a good friend to them u'd at least try". She tells me im not a good friend to them because i didnt at the first sight of trouble try to save a friendship that they broke? they are the ones that outcasted me i didnt attack their moral values, im not hte one who sits there and talks and laughs just ot purposely attack me. The differnce in my situation from most others is this, im not alone at school because i dont like to talk to people at my school cuz i kno what they act like, nor is it becuase i have friends who dont really know me and i just talk to them but the conversations are empty to me. No for me. Im outcasted, and hated. I am alone because i am shunned and rejected. and to me thats worse than jsut feeling lonely, that being attacked WHILE being alone. They took everyone from me. i introduced everyone to that group and they loved it so much now when one outcasts me. they all did. Its not even just at school, i go to school and endure the attacks by these people. i go home and get stressed out by upcoming requirements from both school and the S.A.T's along with dealing with my dad and his constant discouraging and hurtful comments. There isnt much for me to have highspririts for. But amazingly im only hurt alittle.
I just pop my ipod on every moment i can during school, listen do my work go home do homework deal with my dad and then the best part comes next. i talk to my friends ^-^ my Skype peepz who always keep my spirits high, and a plus is of course talking to my sister on the phone alone with my mom when ever she stops by to check up on how i'm doing after my dad bashes on me.
Oh well i guess it only hurt now becuase im not used to this kind of stuff. OH well i've never been one to get all emo about these things. i'll endure, and survive, long as i got u guys and my family i sure i'll be fine
OH and i also feel bad because there's this person that i think aobut alot. She's great but i think the fact athat feel these things about her are causing her issues. I dont want that and i am curious all the time of how she feels about me, but i dont ever want to ask or even know becuase i kno it will cause more issues for her -.-
Nothing's easy for me is it -.-'
Until next time ~ Sonny Maeng
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Hmmm.. Only one and not even a half year left for high school to end. :P And after that you'll be coming to NY right? YEAH and when you do, you can be my companion! I'll take you everywhere except when we have class of course. :D I bet Sunni would too. :]
ReplyDeleteI think the girl is hard headed that's probably why she didn't take a single word you said into her head. She probably just doesn't want you to be alone. Oh she's wrong though, you are a good friend. They're the ones who are being idiots for ending the friendship. You only spoke your mind and told them how you felt about what they did.
You're not bitter at all. She just doesn't understand you.... nor will she ever probably... unless she has friends like the skypeeee.
It's amazing though how you said that it only hurt you a little. Don't worry too! SAT will be soon overrr for you, for good. So just gotta wait until that last day.:] We should all go celebrate it. hahaha.
Aww Sonny likes someone? That's cute. :P Get some courage and go ask her how she feels then. Don't be hiding away. Curiosity kills the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. :P Maybe you're thinking too much about her, it's killing your brain. XD Just kidding.. hmmm.. You really never know unless you try or ask in this case. Everyone has issues anyways, we all get over it in the end.
Nothing IS EVURR easy for anyone.:P
Just know you're not alone.<3 ^^
You have less than 2 years til you're finally out of high school. That's why these past 4 years weren't my best, but I met a different variety of people so that surpassed anything that went on.
ReplyDeleteYour friend isn't understanding and is stubborn to hear you out. Instead, she takes the side of your so called real friends just because she was probably convinced that they're not as bad as she thought they were, when clearly they were the ones who harassed and probably wouldn't take anything back. I find that stupid of her to be honest and I don't even know if anything you said went through her mind or just went from one ear or another.
You are a good friend and she just doesn't see that. Those guys are such pigs. I still want to go smack them with a bat and let them have bruises by the time they wake up from that knock out. Sometimes internet friends can be better than those you know in real life. We can relate and maybe have different opinions to some things but at least we understand each other rather than to push one another away.
I'm glad this doesn't affect you much 'cause honestly your 'friends' are the ones who are missing out on someone who's always been who he is and they just took advantage of your kindness. You don't need people who are going to degrade women that way or act like assholes either. I know that your relationship with your father isn't working out, but that's how Asian parents are. Always expecting a lot from their kids knowing they can't be perfect like they wish. You just gotta hang in there for now and I hope it'll one day get better.
As for that girl, I agree with what Christine said. Maybe you should just give it a go and see what happens. Otherwise, you might regret it later on if you didn't go for it. But that's up to you to decide.
If anything, you always have the skype family no matter what. We'll be here when you need us, for sure.<3
College friends > High school friends.
ReplyDeleteAnd that girl that's being ditzy about everything. I was going to comment on it last blog, but it didn't let me comment, but what I said was jerks are unfortunately the type of guys that most silly high school girls (and young college girls even). It's no use trying to convince her otherwise. She's lost.
Sonny about the crush. Suck it up and do it. Knowing is better than spending years not knowing.
I don't know if the following makes much sense.. but here goes.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to generalize the whole population, but I want to say that generally, high school kids are pretty immature. It's just the atmosphere of being in one place for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, 9 months a year, for 4 years of your life that creates people who are ignorant, judgmental and narrow-minded, because it's hard for people to change before the eyes of all of their peers, and hard for people to be themselves and different in a place where they just want to fit in. Girls are naive and boys are hamsup --perverted.
I don't mean all girls and boys, but it's the people who were naive and perverted who stick out in my mind as those who were immature in high school. I was naive in high school also, I'll admit it. Leaving that place, and all of those people who you may have known for many years of your life, will definitely change your life in ways that you cannot fathom right now. Life goes on, you just have to wait for the fork in the road, and choose the path that YOU desire.
SUPER LAME
ReplyDeletedang high school might just never change -.-
just think you're almost done with all this crazy kfjaopfjawpo stuff
yayy lets gaooo!
and you DO have the youstreamskypetv crew so it's all good ^_^