Ok i know the title is really strange. but ya. I am no religious. actually im quite the opposite, im atheist. Ya so the title is only that way because it seemed like an appropriate title. I was thinking today how people go to "confession" so they can talk to someone about something they did wrong, a way to repent and feel better about something you've done i guess. This has been changed alot over the years, nowadays most people just talk to their friends about their problems and issues and through a mutal (hopefully) understanding they can come to a way to solve your problem, make it easier, or just cheer u up even without fixing an issue. You know what they say 2 heads are better than one (T not WSS *Dion™*). With the gathered wisdom, experience, and knowledge of you and your friends you can always make something easier.
So back to the point of this blog. I want to do a sort of...confession of sorts i guess. So ya i'll start it the way they do. And no i am not mocking the christian religion i just think the way they start their confession is appropriate. So here goes. I am sorry father for i have sinned,
Ok i just stood there for 5 minutes not knowing how to continue that so i'll just get right down to the chase. I maybe misinterpreting these but i've done a form of these sins. I've conducted in the use of greed, envy, and sloth.
They say in greed involve behavior of deliberate betrayal, treason, or disloyalty. They say envy is when you resent another for something you dont have. They say sloth originally ment to mean saddness or depression, but not of the usual kind but rather when one neglects the good so they can purposely wallow in the saddness.
Now I am not one to get super emotional all the time. So when i decide to i would like to be taken seriously. My betrayal in a way was to my friends. Yes my friends, in a note i wrote previously i stated that i disliked/hated all the people in my school except for a hand full of people. Well i recently lost this hand full of people. My note may have been written with such harsh words the fact that i mentioned a "hand full" of people may have been ignored, but that is no excuse. I always talk of how i wish to move away and go to a college out of state and drop everything i had here. well that is not entirely true. I dont wish to leave just because of the people here actually thats not even a large reason y, rather my main reason y is so i can gain a independence, and maybe forgive my dad for all the horrible things he's said and done to me, my sister, and my mother. But truely i've always wanted a reason other than my family to come back down and see where my life started and where i was brought up. You were those people and i was too stupid to say it our loud in fear of embarassment. I was envious, of you guys, that you guys could say or do anything to Sunny and everything was just a joke or "thats just how they are" well y is then that when ever i decided to say one thing, i felt and was treated like i had just killed a new born baby? but that was not a serious issue. And my last of choosing to be depressed or not accepting the happy things around me is my final sin. i chose to not see the good around me mainly becuase i felt as if i did then there was going to be an issue with leaving. I still have every intention of leaving this place when i graduate, but i was hoping i'd still have a reason for coming back after i leave.
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Hmmmm... I don't think no one's ever not sin. Everyone has done something wrong and what not.. you eventually apologize, forgive and move on. Your sins aren't as bad compared to others.. but in your own view they seem bad.
ReplyDeleteIndependence is a bittersweet thing when you get it. In time you'll eventually get a reason for things, why'd you go back and all. Everything has a reason whether you'd find it or not.
Embarrassment is part of life regardless where you go. It's probably because you have a different understanding compare to others when you say things, or you have an easily guilt conscience.
The happy things... you should give them a try and look at them... even if there is an issue with leaving.. eventually don't you think you'd feel bad for not seeing them? They're there for a reason after all. Happy things are suppose to make you happy, not to be ignored. There's always going to be something that's going to stop you from where you want to go.
In due time you'll find a reason to go back home. There always is one.
OH ya this is not directed to anyone of u skyper/youtube/blogtv peoples i just wrote it here for no reason haha
ReplyDeleteWell I think everyone has made mistakes in their lives and of course we've sinned. As long as we have a way to apologize and move on from it, then I suppose it works. It's always good to open up to people about it and to have that feeling of relief can make you not worry so much. I don't even go to confession anymore nor am I really in touch with God because I kind of stopped going to mass :/ So the best way I can talk about my sins are either through friends or just blog.
ReplyDeleteI know that some people yearn for independence as a way to escape from where they are, and I'm one of those people. But I don't want to rush it and realize that I still do rely on my own parents or others for anything. So I'd be independent if I'm ready to challenge the world on my own without any help. You'll eventually gain that feeling as soon as high school is over and when you go off to the college of your choice.
I still think you should try to accept the happy things going on around you. Never know what they'll do...maybe to make your life a little easier. Things do come unexpectedly, including the happy times of your life.
Confessing always makes me feel better ^_^ like for the big stuff, keeping that stuff inside I think is really bad for people.. wahh i'm trying not to generalize too much cause it's not always that way but.. in my experience..
ReplyDeletebut yeah, so when you have someone you can tell or apologize to it's like a huge weight is lifted from your heart...*tries not to sound super cliche*
yayy ^_^
i had this big discussion about sin with either a class or i think it was a group a friends...but anyways we came to the conlcusion that sin is part of human nature. Especially the "Seven Deadly Sins" haha all that stuff is like..natural, we do one of those everyday subconciously. Im not religous at all so yea...i guess I dont really view that kinda stuff as sin. Whether we want to call it sin or not though it's always good to let out how we feel or what we feel guilty about. I agree with Hobo, keeping that stuff inside isn't good haha
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